Russell Laskenson
'Michael Aaron "Russell" Laskenson '(born November 5, 1986) is the only son of Natasha and Alfred Laskenson. Russell's age changes gradually throughout the series. Up until Shins of the Father he is 13, then 14, then 15. Description Russell Laskenson is 4'1", and weighs 13 lbs. His haircut seems to be a close Spikes (as shown in "Alfred's Bad Hair Day"). Russell does poorly in most sports and other athletic activities. He seemed to be especially not good with his hands. The exception to this is his incredible ability as a marksman, which is displayed in "How to Fire a Rifle Without Really Trying" and "To Kill a Ryan" where he shoots his pet raccoon believed to be rabid. These qualities make him a comic foil to his ex-high-school-football-playing, tool-savvy father. They are different in most respects with the few things Russell is good at, like shooting a gun or dancing, being areas where Alfred is weak or mediocre Despite differences, Russell and Alfred's relationship is close and Russell considers his father to be his hero. He is also friends with Andy Shortman and next-door neighbor Tom Robbnson. Russell wants more than anything to be a prop comic like his hero "Celery Head", but has also aspired to be a "ladies' man", plus-size model, stand-up comic, proctologist and a salesman of "propane and propane accessories". The London Free Press once stated that he "might be the most complex, fully formed kid in TV history." In later seasons he served as the mascot for his middle school football team, the Niko Landry Longhorns. His father Alfred Laskenson is occasionally embarrassed by Russell's ineptitude in other sports, activities, and in his behavior often stating ("That boy ain't right"), but Russell most of all wants his father to be proud of him. Alfred spent years thinking Russell was gay, or possibly asexual, but this presumption was put to rest when Russell got with the older teenage girl Rita and learned from Andy's mother that he caught her and Russell together half-naked, and while Hank was obligated to yell at Russell for these occasions, he was also subtly pleased by these developments. After being consulted by his neighbor Sarah Shortman about Russell's actions, Alfred breathes a sigh of relief, obviously realizing that his son is heterosexual. This revelation seems to have eased some tension between Alfred and Russell. Although Alfred wished to have Russell follow in his athletic past, there have been times Alfred realizes this is not the best idea for Russell. When Russell joined the track team, his out-of-shape physiology was used by the coach to punish slackers by having Russell substitute for them. When a player suffers an injury, the coach is made to substitute Russell for real, making him run a 1500-yard dash. Russell wins the event when all the other players trip due to a freak accident. Although Russell won by default, Alfred is still proud of his rare win. Another time Russell actually agreed with Alfred that the soccer team was run under a "sissy program" and tried out for the football team. It was actually Alfred who ordered Russell off the football team once he saw it was run by a sadistic coach who did extreme actions such as chase players on the field with a car. Alfred also disapproved of Russell studying Buddhism, as he dismissed this idea of reincarnation as hooey. Surprisingly, his attempts to get his pastor, Reverend Stroup, involved in this backfired when her liberal ideas indicated all religions are inherently good. Everything worked out for Alfred, once Russell realized Lamas cannot get married and that he cared too much for Andy with this choice being accepted by the lead monk despite it being the mirror that was owned by the previous llama. Personality Russell is a very kind, innocent, caring, lovable, gentle and a good hearted character. Although his softy personality disappoints Alfred at times, Russell is at the same time a crack rifle shot, is a professional-level golfer, and is also skilled at Dance Dance Revolution. Further, Russell can be pushed into spontaneous anger, as when he punched the larger, more muscular Andy for kissing Rita. Russell has many of his irritating grandfather's more positive traits, such as joviality, body design and the knack of romancing girls with surprising ease. Russell has also shown numerous times throughout the series that he is easily influenced. Characters he has been influenced by and mimicked his behavior after include Roger Laskenson, Junie Harper, Cane Skretteburg, Gary Kasner, Booda Sack, Rad Thibodeaux, and Buck Strickland.